Monthly Archives: February 2014

Goodbye, Cruel World!: Chaz writes a fake suicide note,

Subverted (or perhaps deconstructed) in “The Last Man Standing” a tale about Boba Fett from Tales of the Bounty Hunters. The night before Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Chewbacca are to be thrown to the Sarlacc, Fett confronts Leia viagra real online paypal Organa just before going to bed and tells her that, while he’s not particularly fond of the Empire, he supports it against the Rebel Alliance because the Rebels are criminals defying a legitimately elected government note which is technically true, but there’s a huge asterisk and also because they are being aided by all kinds of scummy pirates and drug dealers like Solo. Leia fires back that then Fett is a hypocrite, because he’s working for Jabba the Hutt perhaps the biggest pirate and drug dealer in the entire galaxy! All Fett can say in his defense is that he’s not intending to be subversive and doesn’t care about politics; he’s just working for Jabba for the money, which is all that really matters to him.

Chaz Perrone attempts to murder his wife, Joey, by pushing her overboard during an ocean cruise to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Joey survives and, after drifting for hours, is fished out of the sea by Mick Stranahan, a retired investigator now living a reclusive existence on a remote island. Joey wants to attend her own funeral (in disguise) in order to interrogate Chaz about why he tried to kill her. Stranahan convinces her to wait in the car. Character Overlap: Mick Stranahan was a lead character in Hiaasen’s earlier novel Skin Tight; several other characters from that novel also make appearances. There is also an appearance by Hiaasen’s frequently recurring character “Skink”. Corrupt Corporate Executive: Red Hammernut hires everyone from crooked hydrologists to hitmen to keep his farming operation looking clean enough on paper that he doesn’t have to spend money on pollution controls. Forging the Will: Mick Stranahan forges a will in the name of presumed dead Joey, leaving million to her husband, as a ploy to find out just how greedy he really is. Joey would never have lavished such money on her scumbag of a husband as long as she was alive. Gaslighting: Chaz is driven insane in many small ways by Joey, whom he thought he had killed. Goodbye, Cruel World!: Chaz writes a fake suicide note, intending to cover his tracks as he flees the country, but karma catches up with him first. Humiliation Conga: The second to last chapter has Chaz hopelessly slogging through the Everglades, ruing how his former friends all turned against him, especially the ones he had tried and failed to kill. He escapes from his tormentors, only to meet for the first time the last person he’ll ever see. Even digitally remastered, “Bad to the Bone” could not rally Chaz’s bone to its usual badness.

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